Getting free from a toxic abusive relationship with a narcissist is only half the battle.

Staying free is the other half and it’s the hard part (and where most people fail).

After having broken free, what causes you to get lulled back into the false belief that the narcissist has changed, and that forgiving them means allowing them back into your mind space, into your life, again?

It’s like something’s embedded deep inside your mind, that’s built-in to make you consider, ruminate on, and eventually embrace this false belief.

It’s called the trauma bond.

The trauma bond is that pressure in your mind that makes you feel like you have to make peace with the enemy... and fear is a big part of how it works.

It comes from years of having your sense of autonomy and authority -- to be able to make your own decisions without the fear of it causing conflict and of getting punished in some way -- beaten down by the narcissist.

(I remember how one day my enemy flew into a rage, when I returned home from having bought myself some new underwear! Then there was the time when I bought my daughter a new bike. And that’s just one example of the many, many times, it tried to punish me whenever I did something of my own volition).

And the trauma bond is a conditioned response that you have learned and been trained in.

Many have been trained in it from being raised in narcissistic families. That is especially egregious and difficult to overcome.

But then there’s the whole education system that we all go through, which rewards subservience and compliance to authority structures and punishes those who challenge them.

**This is not always a bad thing when the authority structure is virtuous and even then, its methods become the issue. But when it’s narcissistic, then it’s sinister. Plus, there’s a difference between authority and power anyway, authority (and truth) has been hijacked by power in our culture today... but that’s a whole other discussion**

The trauma bond is the stronghold that your enemy has constructed in your mind, so that even if they are no longer physically present, it gives them the power to pull you back down into the swamp... where they reign.

And there are the foundations of that stronghold in every one of us.

But if you don’t break the trauma bond and dismantle this stronghold completely, you will never be truly free and you will never succeed.

To put it bluntly, you will be like the proverbial pig whom after having just been cleaned, returns to wallow in the mud.

Or, you will be like the man whom having been delivered from a demon, allows it to return with 7 other demons worse than itself, and they find the “house swept clean and put back in order” (your encounter with the narcissist gives that parable a whole new meaning now doesn’t it?).

If you allow that to happen... if you allow the narcissist, your enemy, to come back into your life... your state will be worse than before, and the price you’ll pay to get free a second time will be exponentially higher.

This is no small matter.

Some never get free again... some even lose their lives.

This Is What Will Happen
If You Don’t Break The Trauma Bond

• Your guard will come down in time.

• The narcissist will “hoover” you (try to re-establish contact with you through various means, like a booty call, or telling you that they’ve had an epiphany or more insidiously, by creating a fake emergency... all with the hidden agenda of re-gaining access to your mind space).

• The narcissist will return out of the blue, at your front door, and you will open it (and you won't see the gun until it's pointing it directly at your chest).

• The narcissist will make you accept the blame for them discarding you.

• The narcissist will have less respect for you than they did before (if they held back in any way before in abusing you, that hesitation will be gone - they will not feel the need to wear the mask around you any more).

• The narcissist will lock you down with new conditions, new stipulations and new punitive sanctions (e.g.: make you give up your business, sell your car, abandon your interests, prohibit you from having alone time, sever your relationships with friends, family and professional connections etc.).

• The narcissist will tell everyone that they have forgiven you, and make themselves out to be the loving and generous one, and you the evil villain who is getting a second chance.

• The narcissist will feel emboldened to start affairs behind your back (or maybe out in the open), and use the excuse of “time outs” and “retreats” to sleep with this person, and triangulate you with them. (They'll start a fight with you on Thursday night and leave the house, so that they can have Fri, Sat, and Sun with the "new supply". Then they'll return on Monday as though nothing ever happened).

• The narcissist will prepare a better setup for you (e.g.: poison you, get you beaten up, gather better and harder to refute false evidence against you to go to the cops with, have you murdered etc.), should you dare to try and break free from their control ever again.

Understand, if you fail to break the trauma bond which inevitably allows the narcissist to come back, you will only enable them to refine themselves into becoming a deadlier narcissist!

The bottom line is this...

If you barely escaped in one piece the first time, you definitely won’t the second time.

It’s at this point, I am reminded of the age-old axiom...

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me"

We got ourselves into trouble the first time, because through a general lack of awareness in our culture, and through our conditioning from growing up within the system, we didn’t recognize the red flags.

Or if we did recognize them, we didn’t have the wherewithal or the psychological and emotional support to act on it.

The still small voice of karma, of God, was screaming at us through our intuition, even back then and many of us heard it, I know I did... but we didn’t act on it.

But now, the trauma bond is trying to make you revert to that conditioned response, of ignoring the still small voice and continuing on in what you know deep down (despite it looking like the right thing to do) is the wrong thing to do.

And get this...

Even that tension, that cognitive dissonance, that crisis of conscience... is a potential spiritual weapon that can be used to wear you out, and make you drop your guard.

Grace intervened and delivered you from evil. Are you going to make it do it a second time? It’s under no obligation to.

My advice is: Don’t put it to the test.

Remove yourself from the karmic equation of divine justice for good. Because right now, it is lining up the narcissist in its sights, and at some point IT WILL SHOOT!

(Price for new members jumps to $34/month afterwards)

You do not want to be in the way, and for two reasons:

1. You will prevent the narcissist from receiving their full karma (because divine justice is patient and wants to prevent collateral damage whenever possible).

2. You might receive the narcissist’s full karma alongside them anyway (because there is such a thing as guilt by association, and divine justice is on a schedule, and there will come a point when it won't alter that schedule any further).

So, how do you do this?

How do you make sure you resist the narcissist and this world system that breeds them, and stay impervious to their arsenal of psychological, emotional and even practical “fiery arrows” (e.g.: scams, traps, setups with law enforcement etc.), that are designed to bring you down?

How do you stay obedient to the “still small voice”, in the face of overwhelming opposition… and conquer?

Answer: You feed your mind with a consistent diet of edifying and enlightening truths and insights, shared by others who have succeeded at breaking their trauma bond and have stayed free.

The conditioned fear response of the trauma bond can be unlearned.

However, these insights and “aha” moments that will renew your mind are myriad and the details are so subtle, it's too much to take in at one time.

So, I have created a special section where each month I will post an article that deals with a specific aspect of conquering narcissistic abuse, redesigning yourself from the ground up, and breaking the trauma bond for good.

These articles will contain golden nuggets of truth.

But my focus won’t be to simply talk about narcissism... my focus will be on what to do about it, so that you stay on the path to your true self, to ultimate victory, and never come under its power ever again.

Putting these together for you will take some time and effort on my part, and for it to have the full impact on you, it will require a small investment on your part.

For this reason, access will be exclusively for members only.

Since this is in trial phase, membership will be $34 $17/month for the next 7 days. After that, the price will jump to $34/month.

The membership fee will be a good way to filter out any narcissists from joining as well (because they don't like paying for things), and keeping it pure will be at the top of my priorities.

If there isn’t enough interest to justify the cost, I will shut it down and refund you in full by the end of November.

But if there is enough interest and you join within the next 7 days, your price will stay frozen at $17/month forever.

Also, I will probably create a special members only forum on top, whereby each month, you can write in to ask me anything about your specific challenges, and I will share my unique perspective on it with you.

Maybe that will help you, maybe it won't.

But the ultimate objective will be to create a "network effect" of wisdom and insight, so that you can accelerate your growth by accessing a growing knowledge base that is being constantly enriched by others.

And if enough people join, then that network is bound to generate life changing insight... I have no doubt about it.

If this sounds like a worthwhile investment to you, join now for just $17/month.

The first article for October 2021 is already up, and you will get access straight away.

You have nothing to lose and potentially everything to gain.

I feel Mark’s pain.

During your relationship with the narcissist, did you ever feel like no matter what you tried, no matter how hard you worked, things just never seemed to work out?

I’m not just talking about your personal efforts in the relationship, I mean in your professional efforts as well.

It was as if a cloud of chaos followed you wherever you went, and an unseen force was opposing you and undoing your every effort to better yourself…

… and you started to feel like you would never be able to establish order and peace in your life.

Am I right?

None of our journeys are exactly alike, each one of them is unique. But what I have discovered is that 9 times out of 10, toxic people are the primary conduits for that opposition and sabotage to manifest in our lives.

Somewhere along the way, it’s our associations with toxic people, whether they be family or friends, lovers or a spouse, that caused us to make some kind of compromise, to take some kind of diverging path that led us away from living as our true selves.

And during our struggle with chaos, we were not aware of the cause, only the effects… and we mistakenly thought that if we could combat the effects by working harder (taking two or three jobs, achieving that promotion, qualifying for a mortgage to buy that house) then we would win and finally have peace.

Here’s the truth: We were never going to win because the goalposts would always get moved… and if we had held on to that false belief, we would have destroyed ourselves completely.

But life is not supposed to be this way. Life is not supposed to be this perpetual cycle of strife, anxiety, travail and strangulation of growth.

Think of it this way.

A tree in a garden needs water and light, and as long as it receives that water and light, it will produce fruit in abundance - but more importantly, it will do so as a matter of course… naturally and without effort.

Producing fruit is what the tree does, is meant to do, and what it will do if it’s able to be itself.

So, if the tree does not produce fruit or stops producing fruit then it’s a sign of something unnatural going on in the tree, in its roots, in the soil, or in the garden that’s blocking its growth.

And no amount of water, light, fertilizer or tender loving care, will be able to restore the tree’s fruit producing capacity, until the unnatural, parasitic, pathogenic presence is removed from the tree’s midst completely.

Do you see where I’m going with this?

Before, growth and abundance was impossible and you would have killed yourself trying to achieve it.

But now, as long as you keep yourself clean from the parasitic, pathogenic presence that was in your life… growth and abundance will be easy and it will happen naturally, as it was always meant to.